The holidays are a beautiful time - but they can be challenging. The stress of trying to make sure everyone is taken care of, all the holiday planning, shopping, etc. (And then you add a pandemic in the middle of all of that - thanks 2020) But there is one additional challenge that some of us have…

Sobriety.

In early sobriety I would get anxious around two specific holidays. The Fourth of July and New Years. Those were big drinking days for me when I was in the middle of my struggle with alcoholism. But after almost 9 years of sobriety, I’ve learned how to not just endure these days but actually ENJOY them!

Today I wanted to share with you my favorite New Years Eve traditions & tips for a sober holiday!

Enjoy a guilt free Mocktail

This is a MUST! I like to change up the drink every year to keep it fun. Pinterest is FULL of fun mocktail recipes! Just type in “mocktail” to your preferred search engine and you’ll see that there is a lot to choose from.

OR if you’d rather not have one more thing to do, you can always get a bottle of sparkling cider!

I like to put it in a “fancy glass”, wine glass or champagne flute. Have fun with it! They have more options for sparkling cider these days. I love to have a bottle in my fridge at all times during the holidays! And this probably goes without saying, but i’ll say it anyways - make sure you always check labels to ensure there truly is no alcohol in it!

2. Have a Pamper Night

Another thing I like to add to my New Years Eve! After the little ones go to bed I will draw myself a bubble bath, light some candles, get a special bath bomb, put on a facial mask and even make a fancy snack for a full on pamper night! Don’t skimp on the details!

You can try freezing grapes the night before or getting some blueberries and chocolate chips. Another fav of mine is goat cheese or brie and fig jam on crackers (SO good!)

Just make it special and treat yourself. You deserve it - 2020 has been a roller coaster ride!

3. Goal Plan for the New Year

Nothing feels better than knowing I’m not starting the New Year with a hangover.

In fact, I get to start my New Year with a purpose and a PLAN!

This is one of the things I LOVE about being a sober woman! I get to be one step ahead of all the people who chose to drink a little too much on New Years eve!

Every Year in December I go out and find a cute little Goal Planning journal and I’ll sit down on New Years Eve and write out all my goals for the coming year with focused intentional planning.

I know I know… this isn’t exactly the most relaxing task - but believe me… it feels SO GOOD!

And that’s why I do it!

I am determined to be a better version of myself with each passing year!

If you’re looking for a cute goal planner the best ones I’ve found in the past are at Christian Bookstores, Hobby Lobby, Michaels, and I’m sure that Amazon has some great options, too! Just type in “Goal Planning Binder” “Goal Planning Journal” or simply “Goal Planner” into your preferred search engine.

4. Make it a Family Night

Make your New Years Eve into a fun family night in! Get out the board games and have a game night or make some popcorn and have a movie night! You can even go all out and throw a family New Years eve party complete with noisemakers and confetti - whatever brings you and your family joy!

Get creative!

Another fun idea we’ve done in the past - TIME CAPSULES

Make a little questionnaire for each family member to fill out and put in a bottle with other things they want to add. Determine a time in the future when you’d like to open your time capsules to see how much those answers have changed!

You can make it a tradition to open your capsules every year after making a new capsule.

Final Thoughts

I know that sobriety is hard during the holidays and 2020 has been especially difficult for so many reasons.

If you are struggling, please know that you are not alone.

I can’t tell you how many messages I’ve received over the years from people who were either struggling with alcoholism or enduring the pain of having a loved one who is struggling with addiction.

Remember this: There is NO condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

If you are feeling condemned… that is not from God. God convicts. He makes us aware of the things in our lives that need changing, out of His love for us and those around us. He created us and He knows when we are doing things that are harmful to us. (He’s not trying to ruin our “fun” - chances are, if you’re reading this, drinking and drugs aren’t fun anymore…)

He takes our suffering and replaces it with His joy, His peace… regardless of life circumstances.

If we lean on Him fully and allow Him to lead us on a new path - He will. He did it for me, when I was a complete mess and my life was nowhere near together.

I didn’t even know Him yet… but on the bathroom floor I prayed “God, I can’t live like this anymore…help me” … and He showed up.

It wasn’t a pretty moment. I wasn’t just automatically all cleaned up and polished. I still cussed like a sailor, dressed provocatively (imagine getting dress coded by your sponsor at an AA meeting - yep that was me), had a knack for lying and didn’t fit the “good girl” narrative in any way, shape or form…

It took time and obedience on my part for those things to change.

He was patient with me. More patient than anyone around me. He loved me. He loved me even in the middle of the mess. I have felt His love every step of the way.

His word says that NOTHING can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39)

And in case no one has told you, yet…

HE. LOVES. YOU.

Period.

I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since 2/13/2012.

And there were a lot of people who thought I would NEVER get it together.

But nothing is impossible for God and I can do all things through Him. He strengthens me! (Romas 4:13)

The path He lead me on was first through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, then to Celebrate Recovery and also to a wonderful Christian therapist who helped me untangle a web of trauma from my past that I just couldn’t untangle by myself. God will use other people to help you heal. And you will grow in the process.

Everyones journey is different - there isn’t one “right way” to do it. This is a truth I’ve learned over the years as I’ve watched people get sober and stay sober through different avenues. But there are two common denominators: God and Community.

I now have a toolbox that I carry with me everywhere I go. A toolbox with tools from all these different places. I now know how to “play the tape forward” before I make a decision. I always have phone numbers that I can call, even in the middle of the night if I feel like drinking (yes, even after almost 9 years of sobriety I have these thoughts on occasion.)

But now my knee jerk reaction isn’t to drink. My new knee jerk reaction is to pray to God for direction and reach into my tool box.

You can start building your own toolbox right now - you just have to ask Him for direction and then step out in faith. It takes humility to ask for help - I know.

It’s not as scary in real life as it might be in your head…

The worst thing we can do to hold ourselves back is to stay in the dark and not open up about our struggles. I know community seems nearly impossible right now but it’s not, even in the middle of a pandemic. There are still ways to attend meetings online and resources available.

Don’t be afraid to speak up to your loved ones about your struggle with addiction.

I am not ashamed of my past anymore. I use my past to help others. This is God’s will for my life and it brings me a lot of joy.

He will use you, too… your pain can be a tool that you can use to help another person that is struggling in the same way that you are.

Just don’t give up. I’ve heard this so many times but it’s true… don’t quit before the miracle happens.

It’s coming! You just wait and see…